April 2011
mid-day naps really fuck with my sleep schedule. now i can’t fall asleep, and i have school at 8 and then work from 5-11. why can’t it just be saturday already, with me lying on the beach getting black god dammit. give. me. summer. now. please.
it’s a terrible unfortunate reality we’re living in, when we realize that the only thing that is ever omnipresent in our minds is eating away, slowly but surely, at our sanity. it encompasses our very being, makes us question our importance, doubt our self-worth. days, weeks, months go by without any contact, so you go about yourself, filling these empty places with distractions that numb the pain, but only temporarily. you think you’re getting better, that you’re recovering, but then this thing- and we all know what (or rather, who) this thing is- they slither back into your present life, even if only for just a moment, and your world comes crashing back down again, and you’re left there to pick up the pieces. and although you are able to put yourself back together, you’ll never be who you were before this thing attached itself to your life. the scars you receive, they stay with you, and you can either grow and learn from them, or shrink further into yourself and allow their hold on you to become something threatens your stability whenever they pass through your conscience. it is a day to day battle, you will come out stronger in the end. yes, it fucking sucks now, but we will be okay. eventually..